Why You Should Have a Conversation with a Stranger

Hello Reader,

Can you believe 2024 is already behind us? We’re back to January, which means it’s time to plan our New Year's resolutions for 2025.

Speaking of plans, I have some exciting news to share: as of December, I’m engaged! My fiancé Caden and I are so thrilled to embark on this journey of growing closer to one another and our Lord as we move towards marriage. Will you please keep us in your prayers?

Now, I have a challenge for you. What if this year, you made it one of your New Year’s resolutions to have a spiritual or moral conversation with someone in your life whom you love, or even with a complete stranger—like someone on an airplane or a bus? I know the thought of doing this might feel intimidating, even uncomfortable, but that’s exactly why it’s so important and worthwhile. Here is an example of how impactful these conversations can be.

A couple years ago, I was on a flight from California to Kansas. Sitting next to me was a man wearing a face mask. I noticed he was using it to hide tears, and I wrestled with whether or not I should say something. Questions raced through my mind: Should I talk to him? Should I just let him be? Would I be bothering him? Honestly, I’m not the kind of person who is naturally inclined to strike up conversations with strangers, especially while traveling. I usually just pull out my Kindle and lose myself in a book. However, I felt nudged by the Holy Spirit, so I whispered a quick prayer and went for it.

To my surprise, the man was eager to talk. We started with small talk, but I soon noticed he was wearing a rosary around his neck. Curious, I asked, “Are you Catholic?”

“No,” he replied. “I used to be homeless, and someone handed it to me while I was on the streets.” It turns out he didn't even know the purpose of a rosary. To him, it was a necklace.

Nevertheless, that simple question opened the door to so much more. He told me his story: he had just been released from jail and was traveling home to see his child. At only 24 years old, he had five children, but custody of only one. The child’s mother was a drug addict. As he shared, I just listened.

Eventually, he became curious about me and asked, “Why are you flying to Kansas?”

I explained my pro-life work with Justice For All. As it turned out, he held some pro-life views too. I then asked him about his spiritual beliefs. He wasn't certain about what he believed but he was interested in hearing my thoughts. We ended up having a raw and heartfelt discussion about God and how everything in this world points back to Him.

By the time we landed, we had been talking for four hours straight.

I don’t know what happened to him after that. I may never know on this side of Heaven. But I know our conversation meant a lot—to him, and to me. I also know that God wastes nothing. That random passerby who gave him a rosary years ago set the stage for our conversation. My prayer is that the seeds planted that night on the airplane will set the stage for the next Christian to encourage and challenge him even more.

The amazing thing is that conversations like that can happen anytime, anywhere—and you can have them too. You don’t need to be a theologian or a seasoned missionary. You just need a willingness to say “yes” and trust the Holy Spirit to guide you. I can speak from my own experience: even if your voice is shaking and you feel like you're just rambling on (as has happened to me before), the Spirit will serve as the perfect translator.

During our Justice For All workshops, we teach a framework we call the Three Essential Skills to help start and navigate conversations about abortion. These skills can be used during any conversation about any topic:

1. Listen to understand​
   Truly listen—not to argue, or plan your response, but to learn. Be present and focus on their story.
2. Ask questions with an open heart​
   Instead of asking pointed or yes/no questions, ask open-ended questions like, “What do you think about…?” or “Why do you feel that way?” These encourage people to share naturally and thoughtfully.
3. Find common ground when possible​
   Look for opportunities to connect, even if you don’t fully agree. For instance, if someone supports abortion to prevent suffering in foster care, you might say, “I also want kids to grow up in loving, stable homes. I believe every child deserves that.” Finding shared values can help you build trust and rapport.

These three skills can help create conversations that make a profound impact, even with a stranger on an airplane.

So, as you think about your resolutions for the new year, would you consider adding Have more meaningful spiritual and moral conversations to your list? You don’t have to be perfect or polished, just open and willing. Who knows? The person who is positively impacted the most through these conversations might be you.

Rejoice always,

Kristina Massa

P.S. If you'd like to go through training to learn more about the Three Essential Skills and how to dialogue about abortion in general, consider attending one of these upcoming JFA workshops: