New to pro-life dialogue? I was, too.
You don't need to be a pro-life expert to have a good conversation.Plus, upcoming JFA workshops... Online & In-Person“I get that you’re pro-life, but you wouldn’t seriously force a 7-year-old girl to give birth after getting pregnant from rape, right?” It was my first time participating in a Justice For All campus outreach event, and I was both nervous and excited for what the day would bring. In the weeks leading up to the event, I had gone through Justice For All's "Abortion: From Debate to Dialogue" seminar a couple of times. Explaining basic biology? I’ve got this. Philosophy? I think I can make it make sense. Navigating difficult circumstances? I can manage. But when I walked onto Wichita State University's campus on a humid Monday morning, I was internally petrified when a passionate pro-choice advocate, "Rachel," asked about a real sexual assault case involving a 7-year-old girl in Alabama. When I asked her if the rapist was punished for his crime, she somberly responded, “He ended up getting rights over the little girl's baby.” I was left speechless. How could I possibly answer in a way that would do justice to the young girl’s situation and defend the dignity of the unborn child at the same time? Looking back, I now realize that my struggle to respond was a crucial part of the conversation. When a pro-choice advocate brings up the case of sexual assault as a justification for abortion, she is often not concerned with whether or not the unborn are human beings. She wants to know if the pro-life advocate is human. She is wondering, “What about the woman? What about me? Can’t you see that my pain matters? Don’t you think that my life is valuable, too?” Eventually, I said something like, “I can’t even imagine what it’s like to be that little girl. I think it’s absolutely sickening that her rapist can walk out of that situation with more rights than her. I don’t care which side of the abortion debate you stand on—I think we can both agree that this crime should have never happened in the first place.” Rachel listened intently, and her eyes filled with concern. “Yeah, I agree. And I think it’s cases like this one that demonstrate why we need access to legal abortion.” I paused for a moment to re-center my thoughts. “Rachel, what do you think about abortion in general? Do you think it should be legal throughout all nine months of pregnancy?” “I don’t think anyone likes abortion,” she replied. “No one wakes up in the morning and thinks to herself, ‘Woohoo! Today is the day I’m finally getting an abortion!’ But I don’t think we have the right to tell another person what she can or cannot choose to do, even if she’s late into her pregnancy.” “Oh, I’m right there with you—I think most women who get abortions put a lot of thought into their decision, and it certainly wasn’t an easy decision for them to make.” I continued, “Putting abortion to the side for a moment, in general, do you think that there are ever circumstances in which we actually should intervene and tell someone what they can or cannot choose to do?” “I mean, I think in most cases, no. But I don’t think people should be able to choose to harm someone unless they are defending themselves” she replied. “I absolutely agree. I also want to point out that you seem very concerned about the rights and protection of women, and I really appreciate that. I don’t think it helps anyone when we deny that, even in the U.S., women are currently being violated through human trafficking, sexual abuse, and domestic violence. And as women, I believe we should have the ability to make choices to keep ourselves safe. No one should have the right to choose to harm women.” Our discussion expanded to the many ways women face harm worldwide, and we eventually veered into learning about each other’s personal lives. She shared with me that she’s studying aerospace engineering, her mom is pro-life while her dad is pro-choice, and her experience with talking to pro-life people in the past had been disheartening at best. Yet, despite our major differences in viewpoints, we could laugh with each other, and we discovered that we actually had a lot in common. At one point, thinking on a whim, I said, “Do you think we could switch roles for a moment? Would you be okay with pretending you’re in my shoes, and you hold the pro-life view?” “Sure!” “Great. So as a pro-life person, can you imagine that if abortion causes harm to a valuable human being like you and me, it might actually make sense to say that a woman doesn’t have the right to choose abortion?” “Yes. I think that makes sense. I think my issue is that I don’t think the unborn are valuable human beings like you and me.” “It's super helpful to know we can both see where the crux of the issue lies. If the unborn are not valuable human beings, then a woman absolutely can choose to get an abortion, no problem. But if the unborn are valuable human beings, then she shouldn’t be allowed to choose to harm someone.” Rachel nodded in agreement. I then shared the Equal Rights Argument and made the case that our rights do not come from what we can do but rather what we are: human beings. Since the unborn are also human beings, they should have the same basic protections we do. (See www.jfaweb.org/notes#4 for more explanation of this argument.) “I see what you’re saying,” she replied. “But I still think that any woman should be able to get an abortion for any reason she wants. It’s her body, after all. We don’t know her situation.” Then, checking her phone for the time, she said, “My class starts in 10 minutes. I’d love to keep talking, but I have to go. I’ve really enjoyed this conversation, and it’s given me a lot to think about. But before I go, I don’t think you ever answered my initial question. I can’t imagine that you’re the type of pro-lifer who’d seriously force that 7-year-old girl to give birth to her rapist’s baby, right?” I had a feeling that this question would resurface at some point in the conversation. “Rachel, I’m going to be completely honest with you. It absolutely pains me that this girl was ever in this situation in the first place. I’m angered that there was no justice for her or her child. I want to see both pro-life and pro-choice people working together to make sure that this never happens to another girl, ever. So I understand why abortion might look like a good solution to you in this situation.” She looked at me again with that same concerned expression she had at the beginning of our conversation. I continued, “If I believe that it’s wrong to kill the unborn in every other circumstance because they are human beings with equal rights, I don’t think it would be just for me to turn a blind eye to their humanity due to the circumstances that led to their existence. And it’s super difficult for me to say that because I feel for that little girl, and I understand why someone would want out of that situation. I just don’t think that abortion, if it causes harm to another human, is the right way to go about it.” She nodded her head and extended her hand out to me to shake my hand. “You know what? I don’t agree with your conclusion on how to handle that situation, but I respect your honesty, consistency, and what you’re doing here... and I can tell that you really care about that girl.”
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